The Fantastic Mr. & Mrs. Fox: March 2015

About a month ago I woke up from an alarming dream that frightened me even while awake. I was at a wedding reception and standing there paralyzed as I looked at a photograph that was serving as a centerpiece. There in the photo was a couple laughing at something only they understood, oblivious to the camera as they looked only at each other. I walked around from table to table and frantically looked at pictures of the couple throughout their dating and engaged stages. They were typical cute photos that guests would expect to see at a wedding. The anxiety built inside me and the tears started rolling because I was the girl in the photos, this was my wedding reception, but I had no memories that these events occurred. I knew I loved the man that I just married, but I couldn’t remember anything prior to that day. I cried as the realization of all our lost memories stared back at me in those photographs.

I told Glenn about my depressing dream and his interpretation made complete sense and was true to my feelings. My dream was reminding me about the importance of journaling. I have been feeling guilty about slacking in this department and fear forgetting these simplistic but crucial moments of our lives.

That nightmare was weeks ago. Have I been diligently writing ever since? No, I wish I had a different answer. The reality is I’m still learning how to best prioritize my time as a Mom, but the dream has been haunting me ever since. I miss writing. I love going back and reading about our adventures, my thoughts and feelings at those times, good and bad. I love reading about my friends and what their family is doing and appreciate when they share. I have been neglecting sharing my own stories in return. I doubt many people are concerned with knowing we spent another beautiful day on the beach, but I do care. We have two months left living on Guam. When did that happen? This second time around has been such a blur and I have written nothing, and yet we have done so much worth remembering. I want to remember how happy seeing my baby swimming in the ocean makes me, and what an independent little swimmer she has become. I want to remember how much she loves to dig holes in the sand and be buried in them. I want to remember how she always feels the need to stuff a delicious fist full of sand into her mouth and eat it. I want to remember that strangers come up to us ALL the time and ask to take pictures with Deliah because her curly hair, golden skin, and chubby arms and legs are so unique here, and hello she is adorable! Once again I am vowing to myself to improve and be better. Don’t yell at me if I miss some time every now and again, because I’m not perfect, but I am trying to waste less time watching Gilmore Girls, again, and especially not waste naptime! Although, let’s be real, sometimes a sleeping snuggly baby is going to suck you in and then in your helpless state you will be forced into a nap too!

Since I’m all about remembering moments at the moment, here is one I don’t want to forget. Monday we went hiking! One of my favorite things to do on Guam is go boonie stomping through the jungle and take in the sights. We hiked to Pagat, which was very appropriate for the day because this is an ancient village that is sacred to the Chamorro people and it just so happened to be Chamorro heritage day. This was the reason Glenn had a free day to begin with. The village was just a few stone structures that were crumpling to the ground and there were a few stones that held deep grooves from using them to grind down minerals. From there you continue along the trail to a scenic viewpoint of the ocean. We were planning on stopping here to eat our snacks and let Deliah stretch her legs a little, but it started pouring down rain at this exact moment and it was kind of a treacherous spot for an energetic little girl. Aside from the slippery rocks and not much room to walk around anyway there was a cliff side with a natural arch that drops straight down to the ocean. The waves were crazy strong at the time and apparently some people use this as a cliff diving spot, I will not be joining them. There have been news stories of people dying at some of these spots from being stupid recently. Needless to say we didn’t hang out here, but took some pictures of the view and hiked back to the point on the trail for Pagat Cave.

We sought haven from the downpour and picnicked inside the mouth of the cave. The cave is the absolute best part of the hike and the main reason people go. It’s also why I was unsure this hike would be doable for us with a 2o month old. A pitch black cave that you have to hike down into with a freshwater pool that is big enough for swimming, that let me say again is pitch black, just point at the paranoid Mama right here! I finally agreed to it and I am so happy that I did! This was no ordinary cave! The ceiling height was high enough that you never felt claustrophobic and getting down into the cave was much easier than I imagined. It was just a short scoot down from the opening to a flat spot with a small pool of water that Glenn was able to safely do with Deliah on his lap. We were able to leave shoes and socks behind here. From there you wade into the water and maneuver around some enormous rocks and when you round the curve it opens into a massive cavern and the water gets deep enough for swimming. There was a group of tourists when we first got there, which was nice because all the extra flashlights made it easier to get inside and adjust to the dark. They left pretty much immediately and it was just us and the flashlight app on my phone. We aimed the light up at the ceiling and the reflection was plenty of light for swimming. Our guppy was in her happy place, giggling and swimming all over the place, not at all afraid of the dark! Two guys arrived after a while and threw some glow sticks all around the water. Deliah turned into a retriever at this point and swam around collecting all their glow sticks. She would hold five glow sticks at the same time until we threw them back out and she would go collect them again. It was adorable. The guys were so nice and weren’t bothered at all. They were more impressed by her ability to swim around so well, so young. All in all, cave swimming rocks! The hike back we realized just how much downhill we did on the way in, and now it’s all uphill. This was fine for me, but then again I’m not the one carrying an almost 30 pound little girl on my back, but Glenn made it look breezy! It was a perfect family day :) My only complaint is the pesky mosquitoes that wouldn’t leave my baby alone even after two applications of bug spray. Poor Deliah has tiny scabs from itching herself, but I have to agree she is the sweetest!