The Guam Chapters.

A while back I wrote that Glenn had a job interview with the University of Guam. I wrote about the fear and anxiety that just the interview brought me, and the heartache that was sure to come with living so far away from our families. Well, Glenn was offered the job. We woke up on day two of our journey back West this summer to an offer and a five day timeline to decide. Good thing we were in the middle of a five day car trip to agonize over this decision. For the first time in our two years of marriage we were split on our choice. Not just an I don’t really care, I could go either way, you choose, kind of split either. Like, I was an adamant this move terrifies me. Glenn really wanted the job, the only thing holding him back was me. Ultimately Glenn accepted the job, and we are now in Guam. It broke my heart not to be unified on this decision and have to admit created a rift between us. I know in my heart why Glenn accepted this position. I understand that it was more than chasing his career dreams, but wanting to be a good provider for his wife and baby. I trust that Guam could be a really good thing for us, I just so wished another closer job surfaced instead.

All summer I never really relaxed about the move. I was confident that the Universe was fighting against us and all the preparations we needed to make. There are so many complications that come with moving to another country! And we still have loose ends in California. For starters we needed to figure out what to do with all our stuff. What to bring, what to sell, what to store? We tried having two garage sales. My parents live directly across the street from a very popular soccer park, and the two Saturdays we sit outside, empty! Sign? We also had two cars that we were trying to sell and some larger furniture items on Craigslist. I swear every time we were in talks with someone and they were for sure coming with money to pick it up disaster strikes. These are some of my favorite excuses for why people never showed. I lost my phone. My car was stolen that morning. My daughter was in a car accident and lost her spleen. What the heck?!

The most difficult preparation came with trying to get our dogs to Guam. There is a vast checklist of shots, blood work, and paperwork that needs to be done, and a lot of money. We made the difficult decision to leave Lexi with my Grandma, who we knew would do nothing but sit there and give her attention 24/7. We did all the necessary vet work with Rocky and thought we were good to go. I stayed in California an additional two weeks after Glenn already left for Guam so that we could wait out the processing times on Rocky’s blood work and avoid a long quarantine when we arrived in Guam. The next hurdle came with the airlines. We were told by the airlines that Rocky wasn’t allowed to fly in cabin and would need to fly with their Petsafe program. This made me very nervous! I hated the idea of my dog flying in cargo and worried about the trauma that might cause him. When it came time to make his reservation I found out that Rocky wouldn’t be on any of the same flights as me. First off I was on an express flight, and dogs flying internationally with Petsafe aren’t allowed on express flights. Second, Rocky would need a quarantine in Hawaii. Meaning, Rocky would miss my flight to Guam and need to fly out on a different flight. Also, lots more money! I hate United Airlines! I hate that they made it virtually impossible to bring my dog with me. It broke my heart to leave Rocky with my parents. It broke my heart when my Dad told me that Rocky sat outside the door to the room we stayed in all summer just waiting for us. It makes my eyes watery just thinking about it. I’m grateful my parents love him too, and know they will take care of him. I just miss him a lot!

The most difficult aspect of moving to Guam was Deliah. Not just the fact that United Airlines once again made me their enemy. I had to pay an ‘infant tax’ just to bring my baby with me. The woman on the phone seriously posed it to me like this, ‘well if you want to bring your baby you need to pay’. Like it was actually a choice. United Airlines is a bunch of heartless people! What tore me up inside were the feelings that I was taking this beautiful baby away from so many that love her. I love my family and want them to have a relationship with Deliah. She is growing so fast and will be so different when they get to see her again. All summer I felt like I was on borrowed time. I view the two months we spent in CA as a gift. A way that everyone we love could meet our baby and bond with her. But, it was always in the back of my mind that this was all temporary. I know I will never be able to send enough pictures and Skype long enough to satisfy my families desire to see her.

Finally, I make it to the airport, accompanied by my entire family. After a really sad goodbye Deliah and I arrive at our gate. Flight delayed an unknown amount of time. Really, why did everything about this move have to be so gosh dang stressful?! I only had a 1 ½ hour layover so the woman at the counter set about booking me backup flights. She wanted to put me on a one way to Honolulu, skipping San Francisco all together. I was rejected by Hawaiian Airlines for this flight because I didn’t have a passport. A passport to fly to Hawaii? Why even consider it one of the 50 states? Anyway, my flight to SF departs exactly 1 ½ late. I make it to my gate for my next flight literally as the doors are closing. When I arrived in SF and asked what gate I needed to be at, a nice man escorted me all the way there when he learned it was already boarding. He began swiftly walking and then quickly turned into a brisk jog. Him pushing my stroller and me jogging besides carrying my baby in the Bjorn. I made my flight, and honestly from here on out traveling was easy. Deliah was a travel delight. In three flights she never cried, not even a whimper. I was worried the air pressure would bother her and she would be fussy. I was worried she would have a massive poop blowout, because such is my luck. Nope. She was a gem! I think I deserved this because the idea of traveling alone for almost a full day, with a newborn, all alone, made me a little nervous. I had to laugh because after three flights with a happy baby, she screamed the second we got in the car leaving the Guam airport.

Now the real adventures begin. All summer I felt like we were sacrificing so much, and waiting impatiently for things to get easier. All summer I hated anytime someone said the word adventure to me. All summer I was so unenthusiastic about this move. Don’t get me wrong, I am not planning on being miserable while I’m here. I am hopeful that this will be a positive experience for us. I am excited about traveling somewhere new. I am hopeful that when we look back on these Guam chapters one day they will be filled with wonderful new friends and fun stories. Stay tuned.

 

Deliah's first time on an airplane!

Perfect travel baby!

Deliah watching Free Willy on the Kindle during one of our flights.

A Daddy happy to see his baby again after two long weeks.



Fox's together again!

 

Why can’t my baby stay tiny forever?!

Where did the last 7 ½ weeks go? Yesterday my eyes were opened for the first time to the fact that my newborn baby is no longer a newborn, she is an infant. My family members have all been commenting for a few weeks now how she is getting bigger. At church yesterday lots of women were commenting on Deliah’s rubber band rolls on her arms and legs. I have been in Mommy denial. I want my baby to stay tiny forever! Is that too much to ask? You think I would have realized this sooner. There were signs. When one of my favorite outfits on her became a belly shirt. When sleep nighties that used to cover her feet now only cover to her knees. When she switched from newborn diapers to size one diapers. How she holds her head up like it’s no big deal. How she is trying to stand up, to which I reply that is absolutely not allowed! She is no longer my narcoleptic little baby who fell asleep in the blink of an eye, now she is kind of stubborn and will fight her naps. When I take her to the Pediatrician and the stats prove she has grown.

13 July 2013: 3 weeks

9 pounds 6.5 ounces
21 inches long

8 August 2013: 6 weeks

10 pounds 13 ounces – 73 percentile
22 ¼ inches long – 79 percentile
37.5 cm head – 62 percentile

Some more Deliah tidbits…

I really enjoy the bonding time with my baby while I breastfeed her. Deliah eats like a champion. She is the happiest baby until she thinks she is starving. It’s a very small window when she wakes up to when she likes her boob time.

Deliah let’s her Mom and Dad sleep a solid 4 hour stretch at night. Sometimes Deliah wants to have an awake party in the night, but 90% of the time she eats and promptly goes back to sleep. I’m actually real alert during her 3:00 A.M. feeding. I like reading my favorite blogs at this time. It’s when I’m awake again at 6:00 that I feel sleepy.  

This girl loves her baths, and I mean LOVE! Her first bath was quite the event in this house and we had 5 people all gathered around the kitchen sink wanting to be a part of it. She loves to be sprayed and just soak in the water. She only gets sad when we take her out. I see hours of bubble bath time fun in this babe’s future.

Deliah has a lot of awake time during the day. She will just stare right at you now when you talk to her.

Deliah is so SMILEY! I love how she would have spontaneous smiles when asleep, and now it’s a lot while she is awake.

The hiccup monster comes and visits her every day. Her Daddy thinks holding her upside down is the key to getting rid of them.

She absolutely hates it when she is gassy.

She is the MOST LOVED BABY in the world. Who knew that people would jump up to be the privileged one to change her poopy diaper.

She is told she is pretty over 1,000 times every day!

I’m a little sad at how fast the days are going by. You are warned, but it’s the absolute truth. Each time I hold her, bathe her, watch her sleep, put on a cute outfit, I want to capture that moment. She has to be the most photographed baby ever! Deliah’s giggles, coos, and pretty face melts her Momma’s heart on a daily basis. Someone please freeze the clock and let me enjoy this time forever!



Day 3 of life.

Look at those arm rolls!

My happy girl :-)

I can't hide from the proof!

 

 

 

Deliah Winnifred Fox

Deliah Winnifred Fox

June 28, 2013
7:41 AM
8 pounds 11 ounces
20 inches long
PERFECTION

My due date was June 27, but I was so confident that I would be having my baby girl early. I had a Doctor’s appointment two days before my due date where my Doctor actually asked me, “Why are you still pregnant?” After being dilated to a 3.5 for a week she was also confident that this appointment would be unnecessary. I was now dilated to a 4 and still at 80%. She told me that I had a ‘favorable cervix’, interesting compliment, and that I was a good candidate to have my membranes stripped. I had my membranes stripped, which will put 80% of women into labor within two to three days, and honestly thought it was going to happen that day. I was so eager to meet my baby and was very impatient at this point. Upon arriving in California I had done everything I could to motivate my baby to come. I was taking long walks daily. Every night I had Glenn massage magical voodoo oils into my back and feet that are supposed to stimulate labor. I was tracking the barometric pressure of an incoming rain storm. There was a rare super moon in my favor. And perhaps the most ridiculous, I started unbalanced walking. I would walk with one foot on the curb and one in the gutter. I wanted my baby to come and didn’t care how ridiculous I looked.

I woke up the morning of my due date, still pregnant and optimistic that today could be the day, although showing zero signs of labor. I know you are supposed to try and distract yourself so you don’t think about baby constantly, but seriously that’s impossible. All I wanted was my baby and right now! It was now 8:00 the night of my due date. We were swimming and when I went inside to the bathroom I saw I started bleeding a little. We went home and I started having contractions while I was in the shower. I was positive that this was my early labor. It was important to me that my hair looked good for hospital pictures and my contractions needed to be more consistent so I had Rebekah curl my hair to help pass the time. I’m bouncing on my balance ball, contractions are getting increasingly stronger, and I was really upset it took 45 minutes finish my hair. I thought I would be able to sleep a little, but that was not going to happen. Glenn started timing my contractions and they were gradually getting stronger and closer together. When I had a contraction that was painful enough to make me cry, Glenn said we were leaving for the hospital. We had been timing for an hour and a half and were about 4 minutes apart. We have a dinner bell that Glenn said he was going to ring to wake up people should I go into labor in the middle of the night, and he was so happy he got to ring it! My Mom and Rebekah come running downstairs and everyone was so excited that this was finally real. We pull out of the driveway at 11:59 PM. In the car I was still nervous that maybe I was wrong and they were going to turn me away. Glenn was so reassuring that they wouldn’t and was very calming in the car. He had me doing Zen exercises and was trying to get me to relax my body little by little.

When we arrived at the ER, I remember sitting in a chair having a contraction while Glenn is working on all the admittance questions, and hearing the other guy who was sitting in the waiting area say that I was more important. I was taken by wheelchair to my room and when they checked me I was dilated to a 5. Halfway there and the time between my contractions was closing in. The nurse started strapping monitors onto my stomach and I was so upset that no one told me I would have to wear these uncomfortable monitors all the way until I delivered. I didn’t want anything touching my stomach at all. Plus every time I had an intense contraction I had the urge to pee and then would have to take them off and put them back on. I thought I had the most unsympathetic nurse in the whole world and honestly am not sure how nice I was. She was strictly business and more concerned with my answering family history questions and getting my signatures on paperwork than the fact I’m in tears with pain. What is the point of pre-registration paperwork if I’m going to be asked the same questions again anyway, when I’m much more distracted?!

My contractions were coming right on top of each other and the frequency made it so I never had an opportunity to relax in between them. I was experiencing severe back labor and the only thing that helped me manage the pain was an electric massager we brought with us. While I was having a contraction I didn’t want anyone to touch me. But as soon as my contraction ended my only relief was having Glenn use the massager on my lower back to soothe me. I desperately wanted something to help me with the pain, and the nurse wasn’t letting me have an epidural yet. My Mom had reached the hospital now, somewhere around 1:30ish, and asked if they could give me anything else in the mean time and they finally did, but I don’t remember much difference in my pain level. I was not the type that screamed and swore because of the pain, I just cried a lot. I was so happy when the anesthesiologist finally arrived. Honestly, I was nervous to receive the epidural, I thought it would hurt. He was a little concerned by the scoliosis in my back and had to angle it to make sure that it worked correctly. Other than the tiniest amount of pressure I felt nothing and the relief was almost instant. Arnie was my new best friend! They checked my cervix again right after that and I was dilated between a 7 and 8. I was really proud of myself for laboring that far without it. Now that I wasn’t feeling my contractions anymore I was able to take a short nap. When I woke up I was itching like crazy and they gave me some Benadryl to help with the itchiness. My epidural started to wear off when I was a 9.5. The back labor seemed unbearable and I could always feel my contractions were coming by the shooting pain that would begin. Arnie came back and gave me an even stronger dose of epidural this time. Bless him!! This time I was completely numb and couldn’t move or feel anything. I was able to fall asleep again and when I woke this time I was a 10.

I was able to start pushing at 6:00. My water still hadn’t broke and since there was no Doctor yet to come break it the nurse wanted me to break it by pushing. I will say that my nurse became much nicer when it came to pushing and made me feel I was doing a good job with it. She thought I would have the baby before her shift was over at 7:00. Since I was so numb I wasn’t able to hold my knees up to my chest alone and Glenn and my Mom each had to hold a leg up for me while I pushed. My contractions slowed down, thus slowing the pushing process, and it was 40 minutes of pushing before my water broke. Glenn says that was the most disgusting part of the entire labor. I was pushing right at shift change and about 6:40 my nurse left and it was just me, Glenn, and my Mom for the next thirty minutes. I was feeling very neglected and thought I was deserving of a Doctor since I was so close. The epidural was starting to wear off again but I just had to deal because it makes you more motivated to push. Glenn was massaging a pressure point in my back that was particularly painful to help me withstand the contractions. I was encouraged when her head was visible and I was told about all the dark hair that could be seen. I was crying and just saying over and over that ‘I want my baby, I want my baby.’ A few more strong pushes and her head came out, quickly followed by the rest of her body. I was crying, Glenn was crying, my Mom was crying, lots and lots of happy tears. 

My baby was placed on my chest skin-to-skin and I was completely overwhelmed with emotions and tears of joy. There is no better feeling in this world than that moment meeting my baby for the first time. She was finally here and she was pure perfection! I was instantly in love and immediately felt like a protective Momma. She was perfectly pink, warm, sweet smelling, silky soft, and her head was perfectly round and her facial features weren’t smushed looking at all. She had lots of dark brown hair and deep grey eyes, she was beautiful!! I was so grateful that they didn’t take my baby away from me and just cleaned her up right there on my chest. I held her and nursed her for an hour and a half before anyone else got to hold her. Her Daddy was getting anxious to hold her and I loved seeing him with his little girl.

Her name was much anticipated and we were so excited to finally announce it. When Glenn announced to my mother that it was Deliah Winnifred Fox, my Mom says ‘seriously’!  We were keeping her name top secret and teased that we were naming her Winnifred. The nickname Winnie caught on and that’s what she was known as for months while I was pregnant. We were originally planning on giving her the middle name Elisabeth after me. While driving back to CA Glenn asked what I actually thought about the name Winnifred and we both loved it. After being Winnie for months it just felt right and we decided that it needed to be incorporated in her name. We love it!

I was so pleased with how my labor went and actually struggled more with the post delivery. No one told me that when you pee it was going to burn like hell! The first time I went to the bathroom I passed out and the nurse had to hit the emergency button. Glenn says six more nurses came in and they kicked all the visitors out of my room. Later I collapsed onto the floor and had to be picked up and placed on my bed. Just looking at and snuggling my baby girl makes all the pain and discomfort worthwhile. I know my body will heal and I’m not scared off from doing this again one day. I appreciate all the people who came to visit us in the hospital, but I absolutely loved that first night when it was just the three of us. I loved that first feeling of being a family and how right it felt to have Deliah here. I couldn’t bear to have Deliah in the bassinet next to me and slept with her in my bed all night long. I just couldn’t kiss her and snuggle her enough. We were both healthy enough that we only had to stay the one night and were able to go home the next day. I think I must be a little hormonal still because I find myself starting to well up with tears just by looking at her precious face. I am so in love and happy that this perfect little baby is ours forever!

 

Swimming just hours before.