That time we went cave swimming.

About a month ago I woke up from an alarming dream that frightened me even while awake. I was at a wedding reception and standing there paralyzed as I looked at a photograph that was serving as a centerpiece. There in the photo was a couple laughing at something only they understood, oblivious to the camera as they looked only at each other. I walked around from table to table and frantically looked at pictures of the couple throughout their dating and engaged stages. They were typical cute photos that guests would expect to see at a wedding. The anxiety built inside me and the tears started rolling because I was the girl in the photos, this was my wedding reception, but I had no memories that these events occurred. I knew I loved the man that I just married, but I couldn’t remember anything prior to that day. I cried as the realization of all our lost memories stared back at me in those photographs.

I told Glenn about my depressing dream and his interpretation made complete sense and was true to my feelings. My dream was reminding me about the importance of journaling. I have been feeling guilty about slacking in this department and fear forgetting these simplistic but crucial moments of our lives.

That nightmare was weeks ago. Have I been diligently writing ever since? No, I wish I had a different answer. The reality is I’m still learning how to best prioritize my time as a Mom, but the dream has been haunting me ever since. I miss writing. I love going back and reading about our adventures, my thoughts and feelings at those times, good and bad. I love reading about my friends and what their family is doing and appreciate when they share. I have been neglecting sharing my own stories in return. I doubt many people are concerned with knowing we spent another beautiful day on the beach, but I do care. We have two months left living on Guam. When did that happen? This second time around has been such a blur and I have written nothing, and yet we have done so much worth remembering. I want to remember how happy seeing my baby swimming in the ocean makes me, and what an independent little swimmer she has become. I want to remember how much she loves to dig holes in the sand and be buried in them. I want to remember how she always feels the need to stuff a delicious fist full of sand into her mouth and eat it. I want to remember that strangers come up to us ALL the time and ask to take pictures with Deliah because her curly hair, golden skin, and chubby arms and legs are so unique here, and hello she is adorable! Once again I am vowing to myself to improve and be better. Don’t yell at me if I miss some time every now and again, because I’m not perfect, but I am trying to waste less time watching Gilmore Girls, again, and especially not waste naptime! Although, let’s be real, sometimes a sleeping snuggly baby is going to suck you in and then in your helpless state you will be forced into a nap too!

Since I’m all about remembering moments at the moment, here is one I don’t want to forget. Monday we went hiking! One of my favorite things to do on Guam is go boonie stomping through the jungle and take in the sights. We hiked to Pagat, which was very appropriate for the day because this is an ancient village that is sacred to the Chamorro people and it just so happened to be Chamorro heritage day. This was the reason Glenn had a free day to begin with. The village was just a few stone structures that were crumpling to the ground and there were a few stones that held deep grooves from using them to grind down minerals. From there you continue along the trail to a scenic viewpoint of the ocean. We were planning on stopping here to eat our snacks and let Deliah stretch her legs a little, but it started pouring down rain at this exact moment and it was kind of a treacherous spot for an energetic little girl. Aside from the slippery rocks and not much room to walk around anyway there was a cliff side with a natural arch that drops straight down to the ocean. The waves were crazy strong at the time and apparently some people use this as a cliff diving spot, I will not be joining them. There have been news stories of people dying at some of these spots from being stupid recently. Needless to say we didn’t hang out here, but took some pictures of the view and hiked back to the point on the trail for Pagat Cave.

We sought haven from the downpour and picnicked inside the mouth of the cave. The cave is the absolute best part of the hike and the main reason people go. It’s also why I was unsure this hike would be doable for us with a 2o month old. A pitch black cave that you have to hike down into with a freshwater pool that is big enough for swimming, that let me say again is pitch black, just point at the paranoid Mama right here! I finally agreed to it and I am so happy that I did! This was no ordinary cave! The ceiling height was high enough that you never felt claustrophobic and getting down into the cave was much easier than I imagined. It was just a short scoot down from the opening to a flat spot with a small pool of water that Glenn was able to safely do with Deliah on his lap. We were able to leave shoes and socks behind here. From there you wade into the water and maneuver around some enormous rocks and when you round the curve it opens into a massive cavern and the water gets deep enough for swimming. There was a group of tourists when we first got there, which was nice because all the extra flashlights made it easier to get inside and adjust to the dark. They left pretty much immediately and it was just us and the flashlight app on my phone. We aimed the light up at the ceiling and the reflection was plenty of light for swimming. Our guppy was in her happy place, giggling and swimming all over the place, not at all afraid of the dark! Two guys arrived after a while and threw some glow sticks all around the water. Deliah turned into a retriever at this point and swam around collecting all their glow sticks. She would hold five glow sticks at the same time until we threw them back out and she would go collect them again. It was adorable. The guys were so nice and weren’t bothered at all. They were more impressed by her ability to swim around so well, so young. All in all, cave swimming rocks! The hike back we realized just how much downhill we did on the way in, and now it’s all uphill. This was fine for me, but then again I’m not the one carrying an almost 30 pound little girl on my back, but Glenn made it look breezy! It was a perfect family day :) My only complaint is the pesky mosquitoes that wouldn’t leave my baby alone even after two applications of bug spray. Poor Deliah has tiny scabs from itching herself, but I have to agree she is the sweetest!



This is the ancient village of Pagat, not much left.

The opening to scooch down further into the cave.

Ocean, pool, bathtub, CAVE, this guppy was born to SWIM!

Glenn struggling to hold onto an independent Deliah, who was trying to swim to her Mom taking a picture in the dark with a flash.

I'm not afraid!

Mom, let go!

You can see Deliah holding all of her glow sticks.

Hiking and cave swimming is exhausting!

 

Some highlights.

Bright and early tomorrow morning Deliah and I are leaving to spend the next six months in California. I just wanted to take a moment and express how grateful I am for the joyous last month that we have had here in Guam. We are so blessed to have such remarkable family outings and I love spending time with my adorable little family. Six weeks is a long time to be apart from your husband and Deliah will miss her Daddy so much. I know Glenn fears that Deliah will change and grow like a weed while we’re separated by an ocean. We wanted to squeeze in as much family time as possible. Whenever you leave somewhere you go through a phase of wanting to cross items of your to do, to see, and to eat list that has been in the back of your mind forever. We did just that, checking items off our list and creating a lot more positive memories of our time in Guam in the meantime. There were a lot so I’m just going to hit some highlights.  

-          Deliah rode on a water buffalo named Bessy! We were exploring the tiny village of Umatac and went to check out a war history site from the Spanish-American war. There was a nice local man, “Big John,” who offered to take our picture in front of Bessy and then surprised us and said Glenn and Deliah could hop on. It was so unexpected and I can’t wait for the day Deliah comes across that picture and we talk about how she got to ride a water buffalo in Guam. Seriously, who has baby stories like that? Umatac is famous for being the place Portuguese Explorer Ferdinand Magellan arrived on Guam while traveling the globe.  

-          An ordinary trip to the bank turned into a cultural explosion filled with dancing and authentic homemade empanadas and other yummy treats.  

-          I went snorkeling for the very first time! We bought snorkels for Christmas and I finally used mine. Normally I’m hanging out with Deliah while Glenn is the one swimming with the fishes. For some reason it has never worked out that we have time for both of us to snorkel in the same day. I can now say that it’s amazing! I was completely oblivious to how many fish were swimming around us every time we go in the ocean. There are so many and the colors are beautiful. While Glenn was snorkeling, Deliah and I walked along the beach collecting puka shells. It was the best day and Ritidian Beach quickly became my favorite beach on the island.   

-          Deliah discovered her favorite beach spot on the island. There is a spot not far from our house that has a sand bank that is covered by 2-5 inches of water. You can run out hundreds of feet without the water ever going past your ankles. It’s perfectly baby friendly and Deliah loves that she can crawl around and splash easily all by herself. We set her down and then watch as she crawls towards us with an ear to ear smile. Deliah is such a little bubble guppy that belongs in the water. Seriously she can’t get enough! Although she does have strict specifications that the water is warm. I’m hoping she can adjust to that CA water.  

-          We finally ate at the little Thai food shack right near our home. It was recommended to us once but let’s face it that the outward appearance can be deceiving and we frequently forgot about it until we drove past. We were given tons of food at a reasonable price, and I even got a mango watermelon ube smoothie. It was a successful lunch adventure and I would go back. 

-          Deliah went down her very first water slide! To do so I did perhaps the naughtiest thing I have ever done in my entire life! We snuck into the swimming pool area at one of the fancy island resorts. All the resorts here have public beach access and we were originally planning on hitting up the beach after some shopping. We honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal to use the pool. Who would even notice that we weren’t hotel guests? Turns out the lifeguard flagged Glenn down in seconds for not wearing one of the necessary green wrist bands. You needed a towel card that they give you when you check in. Glenn thought we could swindle one. When we walked up to the cabana and were asked for a room number Glenn promptly replied #902. I have no idea how he knew that would even be correct, but we were given wrist bands and never even asked to see a towel card. It was such a rush of excitement for me. The pool had a water slide and a lovely ocean backdrop. We took turns going down the water slide with Deliah and even let her sit on the slide herself in between our legs. It was a blast and made for the best day. Shopping, swimming, water slides, a little bit of rebellion, and closing out our day with the most amazing salted butter caramel gelato. I was euphorically happy all day and couldn’t have asked for a better last weekend here.

I have really been striving to live in the moment recently, and have been happier because of it. It’s difficult for me to look past things that are difficult sometimes and can put myself into a slump. I truly am grateful I have a husband with a job that can provide for his family. Guam was a shock to me. Guam was difficult those first few months, like moving anywhere new would be. I missed my Chihuahua. I missed avocados. I missed Holidays spent with family. I missed home. I know this experience has brought me closer to my husband and strengthened our family. We have a lot of wonderful memories and a lot of once in a lifetime experiences as a result of this unexpected stop in our life’s journey. This is a side of the world I never thought I would visit. It’s been good to broaden my horizons. It’s been hard, but it’s been good too.

 

The grass is greener where you water it.

 

The grass is greener where you water it. I read this simple quote the other day and the words struck me instantly as I realized how fitting this was for my life right now. About mid February we purchased plane tickets home to California. Initially we were just planning on spending the summer and after a few different variables were thrown in, the tickets stretched into what will be a six month trip for me and Deliah. I am over the moon to be reunited with my Chihuahua. I am thrilled to be home in time for one of my best friends weddings. I’m looking forward to holding new babies that will be born. I am grateful to have time with my in-laws before they leave on a mission. More than anything I want to show off my perfect beautiful baby to all my family and friends. Deliah is not the same 2 month old infant who flew out to Guam with me anymore. She is a fearless 9 month old little girl who is so eager to try new things. I am already nervous about how I am going to handle a squirmy 9 ½ month old who is already attempting to walk during 18 hours of flight time, but that will be another story. The reason this quote had such a profound impact on me is because my feelings towards Guam have really changed recently. It’s almost like the second plane tickets were purchased off this island that is 6,000 miles away from everything I care about, I realized there is so much I care about here as well. There are still a million reasons this island makes me crazy, but that has not been my focus. Knowing I will be leaving and suddenly have limited time has allowed me to enjoy myself more, appreciate more, explore more, smile more, and hopefully be a better  wife and mother because of my shift in mood and perspective. I have allowed myself to feel happy when before I felt like that wasn’t allowed because this wasn’t my plan. Silly, yes, but understanding this about myself has helped me grow in a way I needed to grow. Lesson – life doesn’t always go your way, but water where you are and you can find beauty anywhere! For me it has been very literal beauty in the form of sunsets that light the sky on fire, amazing hikes, waterfalls, and the ocean! 

Guam was never on my radar, not for a place to live, and not even a place I considered for travel. I honestly knew absolutely nothing about it. I couldn’t even locate it on a globe, but then again I can’t locate most places on a globe. We have been here seven months now. Like anywhere you need to learn the ropes a little to feel comfortable. The learning curve in Guam is just steeper than when we moved West Coast to East Coast. On Sunday we met a new young couple with a 6 month old baby from Utah who just moved to Guam three days prior. Hello, sound familiar! I can relate to what this new Mom must be feeling so uniquely and I know too well the feelings of stress and loneliness that will creep up on you in a new place, although maybe she didn’t move here as reluctantly as I did? I thought about how I wish we had someone to help with the transition and tell us all the best places to shop, eat, hike, and explore on the island. We were told the same two spots to visit and once we went to those right away all we did was go to the beach a lot. Now we are discovering there is so much more to see and I love how blessed we are to be surrounded by so many fun excursions we can do in just a day. In the spirit of being appreciative and watering where I am planted here are 10 good things about Guam.

1.   The beach.

2.   The sunsets.

3.   Taking a hike, literally.

4.   Playing tourist for the day and exploring the island.

5.   The amazing scenic backdrops and vast amount of photo opportunities.

6.   Renting three movies for $5 at the video store across the street, we don’t have Redbox.

7.   The year round swimming in warm water. I miss seasons, however my baby is half guppy and loves to swim so this has been nice.

8.   A baby wearing an Aloha print dress.

9.   Laughter. There are plenty of strange things about Guam and we have really learned to have a sense of humor about it all, or try to anyway.

10.      My husband has a job here that can support his family, and every weekend is a 3 day weekend.

 

 

What have the Fox's been doing?

When we first moved to Guam we made a conscious effort to go and play tourist on the island as often as we could. Initially it was more like an extended vacation. We really wanted to be happy here and the beautiful sights eased the distance. The last few months we have been in a slump. We bought a car on Craigslist and were scammed. We took it to a repair shop that kept it for two months, and were scammed again. We are currently driving a car that literally has the head gasket glued together. We poured a lot of money into this car and not wanting to waste another dime on our Guam bomb have been without a consistent reliable vehicle. A few kind people lent us a loaner for a while, but there were weekends we were stuck at home. January rolled around and we were broke. Glenn was on winter break and only receives paychecks on the months he works, so it was tight. We were happy to spend days swimming at the pool in our complex. We kept saying how lucky we were to be swimming in January. Life in Guam has really surreal moments and the year around swimming weather is a perk, especially when you have a baby who is a natural born bubble guppy in the water. We discovered the video store across the street rents three movies for $5! We binge watched TV shows on Netflix and spent more time with the characters from Chuck than actual real people. We were living life on the cheap and kind of stopped exploring the island. The last month we have started to emerge from our shells again and have been able to enjoy some fun family outings. Here are a few of my favorite moments recently. 

Our Valentines Day dinner date turned out to be very memorable and kept us laughing the whole time. We ate at a new place called Tapenade and didn’t know any reviews or anything at all prior to walking in the door. We asked the hostess what it meant and she said it was a serving for two. The menu looked delicious so we ordered a few things with the plan to share. I asked for a strawberry lemonade to drink which wasn’t on the menu. The bartender said he could whip it up no problem. We watched as he sliced strawberries, juiced lemons, shook it all around and created his masterpiece. Since there were no refills on this creation I savored and drank slowly. Throughout the entire meal the bartender kept walking over and adding to my drink. He dropped in diced orange and apple and garnished with extra fruit. He just couldn’t stop! When the food came it was delicious, but turns out Tapenade means a taste for two. We had two skewers and split between the two of us it was three bites of meat each. We ordered two other dishes and joked about hitting up the Wendy’s in the parking lot on our way home. Neither of us had ever eaten at one of those tiny bite size portion restaurants before. It made for a memorable dinner and the food honestly was fantastic.

Last Monday Glenn had a surprise day off work that we weren’t expecting. Guam literally called a Holiday out of nowhere and schools were closed. One of our favorite places on the island is a place called Tumon. This is the capital of everything touristy on the island. You have the best shopping, restaurants, resorts, and therefore the best beaches. We spent the first part of our day wandering around the stores and waiting out the buckets of rain that were pouring down outside. We ate lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. To some it’s just pizza. To me anything that I enjoy in the states and can still enjoy on this island feels like a little piece of home. Once we finished the weather was all cleared up and we were planning on swimming in the ocean. When we walked down to the beach we were warned about jellyfish. Being the cautious Momma that I am I chose not to risk going in the water with my baby. Glenn however thought he could dodge any jellyfish that he saw, put on a snorkel and mask, and proceeded with caution out into the water. He was back on the beach five minutes later after getting stung. Lesson learned we chose to take a casual walk along the beach taking pictures. Immediately we noticed the beach was littered with these Pacific Men-Of-War, dozens and dozens of them just washed on shore. They are a bright royal blue and look like chewed up spat out pieces of bubble gum with a giant clear bubble stuck to them and a single long tentacle. Unlike anything I have ever seen before at the Monterey Bay Aquarium that I visited many timed during my childhood. We came upon a catamaran that was a perfect posing my baby moment. We saw this triangular glass home that had a wedding going on in that exact moment. This little beach walk was my favorite part of the day. I experience a lot of emotions in Guam, some good and some not. This day I was grateful that we will have so many cute family photos on the beach because of our time here.  

I feel like each time we go out on a Guam exploration I think that’s the most scenic place on the entire island. Seriously though I really think this hike we went on to Tarzan Waterfalls last Friday was my favorite so far. We have talked about hiking pretty much every weekend, and up until now have only done one very small very short hike down to a place called Haputo Beach. Tarzan Falls was a 3 mile roundtrip hike and perfectly baby friendly. The trail was so wide and kept opening up to these gorgeous scenic views of the island. It was absolutely impossible to get lost because even when the trail split off it always converged back into one. The weather that morning was spectacular and we had a nice little breeze. There were some muddy patches and one place we had to do a little bum scoot down a crazy steep slippery hill but that’s the reality of nature. I can’t say enough good things about this hike and this day. The funniest part was this group of Japanese tourists that were taking an ATV tour down to the waterfall and as they kept stopping to navigate we kept catching back up with them while walking. They were shameless about photographing our beautiful baby. When we were down at the waterfall one of them just randomly put his arm around Glenn and Deliah to take a picture with them. I feel like wherever we go our white baby is such a novelty and we’re constantly getting compliments on her beauty, her gorgeous eyes and curly locks of hair. People can rave about my baby all they want, this Momma eats it up. The waterfall was spectacular. Who doesn’t love a waterfall?! The water was so refreshing to jump in but was a little cool for Deliah’s liking so we didn’t stay in too long. Deliah got real worn out hiking and being so photogenic that she slept the entire hike back. All in all it was great family day and I was feeling very lucky by our surroundings.

Not every day in Guam is all rainbows and unicorns and waterfalls. Those days it’s effortless to see the magic in my day and the unique experiences that Guam has brought us. Whenever I’m out of the house and we’re trying something new and exploring the island that’s when my mood is at its best. The most challenging aspect of living here is the feelings of loneliness that can creep up on you. I have never struggled as much socially and felt like it was so difficult to make friends as it has been here. Some days I am perfectly content at home tending to my Mommy and Wife responsibilities. After too many days without venturing outside those walls I start to get bored. I love spending my days with Deliah but I think about how awesome it would have been to have Deliah while we lived in North Carolina. There are a lot of young moms in our previous ward who supported each other and were excellent about keeping a playgroup going. They always invited me even without a baby, but now that I have a baby I see how crucial those groups are to both baby and Mommy. I love showing off Deliah and her new tricks on Skype, but it’s not the same. I’m already looking forward to being back in California and having games nights, and people over for dinner, and meeting friends at the park with their kids. We really do lead a pretty good life and have exceptional options for fun weekend outings but I do wish Guam wasn’t in such a stupid location on the Globe.

 

 

 

 

A walk along the beach in Tumon. March 3, 2014

 

 

A hike to Tarzan Falls. March 7, 2014